41 weeks, 57 miles and an incredible difficulty forcing myself out of the front door!
I hate tapering off before races. There is a narrow minded focus I achieve when actually running that I really miss when I lose 5-6 hours of training compared to an average week. Unfortunately a byproduct of training for longer distances is it can be later in runs where this is reached. I will occasionally have shorter efforts between 5.4 and 7. 5 miles where this happens but it doesn’t usually kick in at least until the main hill about 3 miles into the run. Usually when I set off for runs longer than this I can focus better as I know I will be out for more time.
Apart from Monday’s two laps of 5.4 miles, I have found a serious melancholy about setting off for any running since. Once I was into each run, I got some momentum and felt better afterwards. I have attributed this to a bit of a crisis of confidence about next weekend’s race. Whilst I have ran more in training for this than for any other race, my pace has not been at the required level at any point for runs of a decent distance. I came close in my 40 mile training run a few weeks ago but it bothers me that even ‘shorter’ 20 mile efforts haven’t sustained that pace.
I know the adrenaline of race day will help with maintaining a faster pace and running as part of a pack helped massively last year. Luckily since starting to train properly for this in October, this is the first week I have felt this low. Including the 3 weeks of tapering, I have averaged 67 miles a week for the last 12 weeks, which is a good indication of being able to hold a quicker speed for 50 if everything goes to plan.
Looking back at last year’s race, I think the effort to keep running until I was dropped by the pack was a big influence on being able to finish the 72 mile run in July. This feels like one of my main goals for this year. I know once I’m in the race, quitting won’t be an option again and I’ll either get left behind or I’ll be one of the first international runners to finish it! Hopefully having maintained a positive attitude for 11 of the last 12 weeks will mean I can sustain it for the duration of one full night in Paris, regardless of whatever external factors such as weather or the yellow jacket protestors may have in store!
I’m a much more confident person now than when running played a smaller part in my life. I think it gives me a sort of gritty arrogance that I will finish things that is built up over the 3-4 months beforehand. Last year I forced myself out the door 254 times to go running, next Saturday night gives me a chance to show what the last 3 months training has been for, I know now that my confidence isn’t a switch I can flick and with a bit of luck the smaller glimmer of light that gives will last until sunrise.
